Dating can be a thrilling experience, filled with excitement, learning, and the potential for deep connections. But just like any other important aspect of life, your financial future could be impacted by who you decide to partner with. The way someone handles money can reveal a lot about their values, priorities, and overall compatibility with your lifestyle. So, how do you know when there might be some hidden financial red flags in a relationship? Let’s explore the signs together!

1. They’re Secretive About Money

If your date gets uneasy or avoids talking about finances altogether, that’s a sign to pay attention to. Healthy relationships are built on trust, and money is a part of that trust. While not everyone is comfortable sharing their financial details right away, ongoing secrecy or reluctance to discuss money matters could indicate deeper issues, such as a hidden debt problem or poor financial management.

What to do? Start by gently introducing financial topics in casual conversations to gauge their comfort level. If they’re open, that’s a great start! If not, you might want to dig a little deeper into what that could mean.

2. They Spend Beyond Their Means

We’ve all been there—grabbing a few things we didn’t really need or splurging occasionally. However, if your date seems to live in constant “treat yourself” mode without any regard for their budget, that could be problematic down the road. You don’t need to become a financial guru for your partner, but consistently overspending could signal poor money management, which can create tension in a relationship.

What to do? Watch for patterns of excessive spending, especially if they are unable to explain how they manage it. Healthy financial habits are essential in building a stable partnership, so consider how this might affect your shared goals in the future.

3. They’re Always in Debt (And Not Paying It Off)

It’s normal to carry some debt, especially student loans or a mortgage. However, if your partner seems to be drowning in debt with no plan to pay it off, that’s a serious concern. Debt that isn’t being managed or acknowledged can strain a relationship, especially if you both decide to combine finances in the future.

What to do? Have an honest conversation about finances early on. Ask about their debt, and see how they plan to manage it. Are they making a consistent effort to pay it down? A plan is a good sign, but avoidance or denial is a red flag.

4. They Avoid Financial Responsibility

If you’ve been dating for a while and your partner shows little interest in discussing bills, savings, or budgeting, that might be a financial red flag. In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel like active participants in managing finances. If they avoid discussions about financial goals or responsibilities, it might suggest that they aren’t ready for a serious commitment.

What to do? Work together on setting short- and long-term goals, like budgeting, saving, or planning for vacations. If they resist or brush it off, it might be time to evaluate how much of a shared future is really on the table.

5. They Have No Financial Goals

Everyone needs goals—whether it’s saving for a house, traveling the world, or retirement. If your partner doesn’t have any financial aspirations or hasn’t thought much about their future, it could be a sign of a lack of ambition or forward-thinking. Financial goals help ensure that you and your partner align on priorities and can work together toward mutual achievements.

What to do? Ask your date about their financial plans. Do they talk about saving or investing for the future? If not, it’s a good opportunity to share your own financial goals and see if there’s any overlap.

6. They’re Too Eager to Combine Finances Too Soon

Some people jump into shared finances far too quickly. This can be a huge red flag, especially if you haven’t had enough time to evaluate their financial habits. While it’s important to discuss how you’ll manage money together in the future, rushing into things like joint accounts or credit cards too early can complicate the relationship.

What to do? Take your time. If your partner is pushing for quick financial fusion, make sure you’re both on the same page before taking such a big step. Financial compatibility should develop naturally over time.

7. They’re Generous, But It Feels Like “Love Bombing”

It’s great when someone is generous, but if they’re constantly gifting you expensive things or offering to pay for everything, it could be more about control or manipulation than love. This is especially true if they use money as a tool to gain favor or make you feel indebted to them.

What to do? Appreciate the generosity but don’t be afraid to set boundaries. A balanced partnership is built on mutual respect, not financial obligations.

8. They Don’t Save or Plan for the Future

While it’s easy to enjoy living in the present, a person who doesn’t save or plan for the future might not be someone who’s looking at the long-term picture of a relationship. Whether it’s retirement, homeownership, or financial independence, planning for the future is essential to financial stability as a couple.

What to do? Talk about your future goals and how saving plays a role. Are they open to the idea of saving and investing for the future? If not, consider how this could impact your shared future down the line.

What Can You Do Next?

Building a relationship is about more than just compatibility in hobbies, values, and communication—it’s also about being financially aligned. Financial red flags might seem scary at first, but spotting them early on can save you both from future frustration.

Tip: Start the conversation gently. Ask about their views on money in a casual way. Money can be a taboo subject, but when approached the right way, it can set a strong foundation for both understanding and mutual respect.

Remember, it’s not about finding someone with perfect finances—it’s about finding someone whose approach to money complements your own, with transparency, mutual respect, and growth in mind. So, what financial red flags have you spotted in your relationships? Let’s talk about it! Feel free to share your experiences in the comments below!